I really thought that it was a great idea!

So today I decided that I should probably bite the bullet and buy a bathing suit for tomorrow's canoeing trip. Mainly because all I have are two pieces (from before Malcolm) and also because well I don't think they are going to fit me. So today Sara and I went to Target just to see if they had any bathing suits in my size..

Well Target had only like 3 suits in big girl size and they weren't pretty so we walked down the strip mall to TJ Maxx (I am not going to spend a lot of money on a suit because I feel the same way: that I won't be wearing this size for long) Tj Maxx had an extremely cute suit that was like 15 bucks YES!! I thought my shopping trip was over I would try it on just to make sure it looked ok and then we could head outta here and go to the Farmer's Market... so I go in the dressing room and I try on a size 24 one piece really cute suit



It BARELY goes over my legs and it looks like it is cutting circulation off of my thighs. So I move onto the next one same size: I was trying to find a pic but can't but it's pretty much like the previous but it's a halter... this one I was extremely excited about. I really like myself in a halter.... So I put one foot in, then the other and then... NOTHING I couldn't even pull the freaking suit up it was so small on me. Seriously I don't understand the way sizes work...

I don't feel that big. I don't think that I need a size 30 (do they even make that size) but it seems like I do.. why do I not feel that big.. and how is it possible that I'm 25 lbs smaller than I was before and it seemse like I'm even bigger. I just dont understand this. So then I said I'm done with this store and we headed to DEB. I thought there has to be something in here.

We get there and I'm looking around and what do I SEE!!! NOTHING They have like 4 bathing suit tops and then nothing! I couldn't believe it. I guess it's a little late but I think that you should be able to buy swim suits all year round because people do indoor swim...

So then Sara says to me "you could always get a cute tank top and shorts.." Just wondering but why am I going to get a cute outfit to go canoeing? I don't buy myself clothes regularly. Why would I buy something special to be outside all day? Needless to say, I came home in tears, skipped out on the farmer's market and went home. When Justin asked how it went I burst into tears... he is waiting for me to go over and talk to him.

I'm going to tell him what happened probably crying the whole time trying to get it out and he is going to rub my should and say its ok.. well ya know what... it's not ok... not at all. I should not be like this at 21 years old.. I should have known better.