Taking time to breath

So I am now in the full swing of school and work. Three massages Tuesday and three today. Definitely a workout by themselves. I have been trying to go to the gym. Three times this week but I keep forgetting to stretch. Last night when I went I couldn't even do my abductors and adductors (inside and outside of thigh) because my muscles were so tight. So this week I am going to try to stretch more.

Ahh, so I'm aggrivated on some high school drama bullshit. Well really it's from someone at work.

This one particular girl whose name we will call P is an enormous bitch. No one likes her at my job and just recently on the downlow I heard that she was leaving to join the navy. (She will never make it) Well anyway everyone is pretty cool to her face because she is a boss. On her facebook today this is what happened:

P Green ‎23 days 23 days 23 days!!!!!!

Random Girl we work with: No............................................

Allison Monique Council: for??

P Green: If I wanted to put what it was for then I would have!!!!

Another random unimportant girl we work with: LMAO^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Allison Monique Council: damn attitude wasnt needed.

First Girl: Um......is all I can say....lol

Third random girl we work with: Say that shit again cuz I Dnt think they heard u! Lol

First Girl: She said.....lol....let me stop!

P Green: No allison not at all and please don't mis-quote me. But if I would of said "mind your own damn business" then I would of said it with an attitude! And to you other ones and you can quote me "I ♥ my team"

Now I am left with either 1. talking some more random shit on the computer, which I am not known for 2. leaving it alone and forget about it, which I'm really not known for, or 3. waiting the 23 days and blowing her fucking teeth out, which is the answer I'm voting for.

She got me so pissed that when I was recording my damn calories I did it on the wrong day and thought I had like 600 left. So I had a slice of pizza and crazy bread. Then I realize the day. FUCK I went over my calories. I hate that dumb bitch.

Ya know what I need to think of now.. WWAD: What Would Allan Do. So Allan what would you do? You seem to always have the right answer, should I blow her teeth out? I don't want to lose my job over this and talk shit over the computer (which she could bring in) BUT if she is not there anymore then I cant lose my job..

xoxo Ali

As school gets closer and my life gets even more hectic I see the light

Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a foooooooll, I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight OOOOOOOOO back to school back to school... *bus rolls up*... well here goes nothing. *bus drives off leaving Billy in the dirt*

If anyone has ever seen the movie Billy Madison then you know that Billy was pretty excited to go to school.. and then not so much.. that's kind of how I feel.

I'm almost always up for a challenge, if you ask my friends I always chose dare and always pull through, but this semester I'm not so sure. Currently I am going crazy trying to work, spend as much time with Malcolm as possible and only work out when he is sleeping. Well adding school to that doesn't make much time to eat (doesn't sound so bad), sleep, or poop. I go to school Mondays 6p- 10p Tuesday 1p- 10p (two 4 hour classes) and Thursday 6p- 10p. I have to get 40 hours a week or bills don't get paid and I also need to hang out with Malcolm, my husband, and workout. I'm going to try to start waking up at 4:30a to hopefully make it to the gym by 5a get about a 2 hour work out in, get to work by either 7:30 or 8 depending on when I start. Then work until school then home at 10 to pack my lunch, hopefully not snack, go to bed and do it all over again.

I hope that I blog throughout this, but quite honestly I might not have a free second with the homework also.

Why can't I get on the band wagon...?

Today was a very noneventful day. I woke up with Malcolm, took Justin to work and then went to work myself. There were a few minor details which I will divulge now. I went to my school because as my previous post stated I have to pay twice the money for my books and use my loan that I didn't really want to use and is not even available to me yet. So I go there grab my 12 bottles of lotion that I will use this semester (massage therapist), my planner, and my books. I get up to the check out, hand them my student id card and they ask for ___dollars (can't quite remember how much WAY more than I had in my account) and I didn't understand because I actually should have money to use from my loan. So I ask them if they could please hold my stuff while I go check what is going on with my money.

"We close in 3 minutes, if you can make it before then, than sure" REALLY? You can't hold the door an extra 2-3 minutes. No. Great. So I head over to the Financial Aid office and I see a girl that I used to work with. Well let me tell you about this girl, Jessica, if that gives you a better picture. She is about 5'0 190 lbs last time I saw her which was when I was pregnant with Malcolm. Her son is about 5 months older than Malcolm so she had some baby weight still on her the last time I saw her. However, that baby weight fell off her like crisco out of a fat man's pores. I would put her at about 130 now.

Now by this time I was in total and utter shock, everyone gave her a really hard time about putting on so much weight when she was pregnant and didnt lose it right away. I expected her and her fat baby's daddy would be in the obese category for awhile. So I tell her "man you look really good, you lost a lot of weight" what does she say? you ask "yeah I know, don't I look good" what. like I seriously felt like I was in one of those really dark rooms where there is one beam of light and it is shining right down on you. dun dun DUN dun DUUUUNNN.. so I really felt out of place. The fat chick talking to two skinny bitches (btw I say skinny bitch with the upmost respect). So I just walked away and went on with my day.

Got ma her did, highlights to make me a beautiful blonde.. didn't work out today because I had Malcolm all day, didn't eat very good, I don't have much food in house and as previously stated don't have the money to buy food right now.. the end... gym tomorrow, will I see you there?

This is not ideal.

So I did not have intentions of coming on here to yell about my husband, but in interest of saving a conflict:

The last couple days, well the last week he has been completely and utterly devoted to his stupid video games and some tv show on the computer. It's just rude because he literally spends no one on one time with Malcolm or me. Well, whatever he goes through phases where he does this whatever. Well now two days before I start school I go to buy my books and what do we have here. No money. Not enough money at least, and do we know why, why yes we do. My lovely husband decided that it was a great idea to buy an extension pack (I think thats what its called) for a video game. Not to mention that he already spent 70 dollars last weekend on video games because he got a gift card. Groovy. Do you know what he tells me, just order it when I get paid on Wednesday. Thats good and all EXCEPT! I have homework the day of class. So that doesnt work, now I get to pay twice the price.

I'll take one of those, and one of those.. ooooh oooh and one those and one of those

so you know how people will take a picture of a hair style and say I want the "Jennifer Aniston" (or whatever) well I want the Reese Witherspoon hair, Kate Hudson's eyes, Jessica Biel's nose, Angelina's lips, Salma Hayek's boobs, Alba's abs, Shakira's hips, Pinky's butt, and Jen Aniston's legs Thanks ♥ Me

Starbucks Banana Bread You a LIAAAAUUHHH

Today was well, eggs on wheat tortilla for breakfast, quesadilla with my FAVORITE homemade salsa and soup, and my bean sprout and mushroom soup for dinner. Equaling out to 987 calories for the day. Well as I was on my last break from work, my friend from Starbucks threw me a piece of banana bread. I said oh no no, I can't eat that too many calories. She didn't think that it would hurt so I checked the nutrition facts but all I could find was the pumpkin bread. 320 calories. Well I guess that's not bad especially because it will be hard to not eat when I get home if I don't eat now. So I went ahead and had the piece of bread. Well, well, well, what do I notice after eating it? The full menu is on the inside of the booklet. Finally I locate banana bread. And what do we have here but 490 calories. FOUR HUNDRED NINETY calories for some bread that WASNT even that good. I was fuming at myself.

I cheated on myself or at least thats what I feel like. I still stayed under 1500 calories but it doesn't matter I admire Allan for trying to stay under 1000 and oh I have 13 calories left let me eat some bread. Jesus! So needless to say I wasn't too happy.

Well today I jumped on the scale and I was up 2 lbs. Which is close to impossible seeing as I worked my ass off and barely ate. But then I'm at work and guess who shows up TOM. Tom you devilish character!! You don't allow for very good weigh ins. I guess we just can't be cool! lol.

But anyways, my tummy is rumbling, I'm thirsty and I'm tired so I'm gonna hit the sack and wake up and hit the gym. God I love to work out. It is so therapeutic for me.

As of late..

Well, I know I suck as of lately, havent really been blogging a lot but ya know the SOS, I've been busy, I've been tired, I just don't have the time.

HA!! Actually I just haven't been doing very good, I've been feeling all over the place and I've been eating all over the place. Good day bad day, back and forth. I'm cheating on my diet like Jesse James on Sandra. Too soon?

But from here on out, I'm having every intention of tracking my food, working out (hasn't been a problem yet), and not cheating. Do you know why I shouldn't cheat? Because cheaters never win sissy!!

Works really been dragging lately, and I bought new tennis shoes which are the shittiest pair of shoes I could have bought. Does anyone have any recommendations for shoes... some for comfort (I'm a cashier at Target and also work in the cafe part) because I'm on my feet all day. And also some to work out in. Right now I haven't been using the treadmill because of my knees, I was going to wait another 10-20 lbs before the treadmill becomes a regular in my regimen. But I do need some sort of good shoes.. Not too expensive because like I said, I work at Target.

Measurements

Neck 15.25
RArm 15.5
LArm 16
RFArm 11.25
LFArm 11
Chest 43
Waist 41.5
Hips 51.5
RThigh 31
LThigh 30
RCalf 20
LCalf 19.5
Rankle 9
LAnkle 9

Oh where oh where can you be?

So it's been about a month of not journaling and feeling completely out of control to realize I need control. I need to blog, I need to excercise, I need to eat healthy... let's do some catching up with some realizations

Realization #1 Just because someone looks happy doesn't mean that they are.

A few weeks ago I went out with some girlfriends from work... we went to a local bar. Now briefly these girls seem so happy and confident (they are overweight about my size to be exact). So I thought hanging out with them might be good for my confidence... however, not at all what I thought. The whole time they were complaining!! The whole time! Whether it was about their bodies, their relationships or lack of, or being hungry, just anything. I sat amazed at these girls, which led into realization #2.

Realization #2 If you don't realize how lucky you are, perk up your ears and you will soon.

As I was listening to all this complaining I realized wow, Justin and I don't have those problems, wow I wouldn't look like that in that outfit (I would look phenomenal), I can resist the urge to order food when I'm at a restaurant and not fill up on greasy fries and onion rings. As all these things were making themselves evident my shoulders became pulled back, my head was held higher. I started to feel really great about myself. Now most people would say that is extremely selfish but it's really not when you think about it. All they allowed me to do was put things in perspective and realize that my life is not as bad as I like to imagine it being.

Realization #3 People give up in relationships far too easily.

Over the past couple of weeks I have spent a couple of nights out with friends and family. During this time I have come ti realize that people surrender in relationships far too easily and far too fast. For example, while hanging out with my sister, she mentioned thinking about getting a divorce because her husband won't quit smoking. Now this really gets to me because my brother (in law) gives in to just about everything she wants, puts his head down and does it. He really tries, sometimes he just doesn't get it but 9 times out of 10 what she wants is what goes. And now just because he is having a hard time quitting smoking after like 15 years she wants to divorce him (btw she quit 2 years ago). I mean he really is trying he even has medication from the doctor to quit. So I think that was just a poor excuse to run to the lawyers.

Realization #4 People do not respect others as they should... whatever happened to the "Golden Rule" we learned in kindergarten???

This past weekend was the yearly highly important carnival in my home city River Rouge. It used to be a lot of clean fun, boat races, baby contests, kareoke, and so on. Now it is all about secret drug deals and leaving the beer tent with someone to get lucky with. Well I decided I don't do drugs and I am married so hey why not check it out. Some of my old friends were up there. So I got my sexy on (dammit I'll post a picture later!! When my friends posts them) and headed up there. Sn: I went to the gym before everytime I went out these past weeks it boosts my confidence SO MUCH! So anyway, we were at the beer tent and when you're a beautiful woman as I am men (pigs) will literally drool all over you. My father was a cop before he passed away and all his old work buddies dropped their jaws when I walked in. How disrespectful. I grew up around you, you probably watched my dad change my freaking diaper ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well then throughout the night people were drunk and sloppy and rude. For one, you don't know me I will hurt you if you try to disrespect me. For two, your sloppy drunk and I am not I have much more control than you.

Realization #5 People in a relationship should not use certain words to demean their SO

After having been with Justin for 3 years he has taught me to not use certain words toward your significant other, words such as bitch or asshole. You should not use those words, however, I didn't really understad the important of this lesson until recently when my friend and her fiance got into it and he kept calling her a bitch. It is impossible to love someone and call them a bitch. It is so disrespectful, it is so demeaning. I just can't believe someone can love someone and talk to them in that way.

I think that is all for my realizations for right now...

I have been working my ass off at the gym, however food hasn't really fallen in line.. so hopefully it can all fall in place and we can be happy. I am seeing changes in my body just not on the scale.