What day is it???

So on Thursday I went to work and then school, well finally when I got home I was tired and ended up not working out. So I told myself I will just work out twice tomorrow. Welp, that didn't happen either. However, I did workout yesterday (after Jordan made me feel guilty for almost not working out). I did day 4 of 30 day shred... wow it seems like I am a lot farther into the program than just 4 days, even if it's been 5. But, alas, today starts day 5. Today, I am babysitting Micala and bringing Malcolm along. I hope that I can stay up late enough to work out on the treadmill after the kids have passed out. But I don't know if thats truly going to happen. Ahh, I have been waiting for this day since Monday. I hope this can take my mind off a few things.

It really upsets me and almost confuses me that Justin is getting upset at the feelings I am feeling. I don't even know how many times I have told him. I guess I feel like it's not the feelings he assume they are, they are coming from a friend place and no more than that. The only reason I know this is because I have thought about what makes me sad and it's more that his life is pretty much over rather than anything else. I mean, I'm not boo hooing that I'll never see him, especially when I never had plans to see him again anyways. I know that it is merely that he will never have a full life now. I really hope that they both get off but that is merely me being selfish because I know that they are getting what they deserve especially if it is proven what exactly happened. I guess only God can judge. I never really understood that but I do finally. Only God can judge people because who the hell is the next person. God is the ultimate decision in anything. Maybe this will come as a blessing, allowing them to have a better life, have better morals. I don't know but I hope there is greater meaning to this.

Day 3

So Day 3 of 30 day shred... at 630 in the am... was extremely hard for me because usually I don't even roll out of bed until 9. whew. it went good though, I got through most of it, still sore from the first day. Then I took a shower and was getting ready to go to work and well well well what do ya know... my car battery is dead. So, I had to call off of work because Justin's family knows absolutely no one in this neighborohood and I am too far away for my family to come and help me. So now I sit here and I don't really want to do my homework but it's my VERY LAST DAY of online classes, boy oh boy does that excite me.

Ahhh, and the other stuff. I don't know how I feel right now about this situation. It's not that I feel bad for him or that I'm going to miss him (there was nothing to miss) however I do feel something. It makes me sad but I'm not sure what I'm sad about. I don't know if it's because I know that he is a better person than that or if it's because his son will grow up without a father now. I have no idea. I just know that I feel something about this situation. I think Justin is secretly enjoying this, because for some strange reason he though there was something to worry about. Hmmm.. a lot of people are thinking that it's no big deal. However, it's a VERY big deal. People ar treating it like oh man eff the police, uhm. NO.. if you commit a crime you have to pay. No one is excluded from the law, regardless of how _________ (fill in blank) they may be. It just really surprises me that people think that police are the bad guys.

DAMMIT!

So I watched calories today and we went to Red Robin to celebrate Mrs. Council's birthday and I'm thinking I'm fine to get the 5 alarm burger with turkey instead of beef because it's mostly vegetables. WRONG it was 900 calories although I didn't switch it out for turkey I went over my calories by almost 1000. What a bummer, but ya know what I learned from following the dear blog, is that you acknowledge what happened and you move on from it. So now I'm going to watching American Idol and then do day 2!

Day 1 of 30 Day Shred

So I shall try and keep up with this because I really want to see the progress that I make. Today I had planned everything because I knew that I was going to be gone all day so I decided that I would make my lunch and dinner before I left. Well.. that went well except I was still a little hungry so I bought some pretzels which added a whopping 360 calories to my total for the day. I stopped my calories at 1471 which is higher than I was hoping but that just means I'm going to have to keep looking at what I'm eating and lowering them.

Now on to my workout. That workout seemed like it was pretty easy. Maybe I'm in better shape than I thought, maybe I was excited, I'm not really sure only time will tell and that time is 30 days... well 29 now.. and I'm hoping to have reshaped some of my body, or at least lose some inches...

starting weight: 292
Waist: 44.5
Hips: 53.5
Neck: 15.5
Thigh: 29
Calf: 19
Upper Arm: 15.5

30 day shred

Valentines Day was.... not as planned. I thought that we were going to have a nice quiet evening at home, however that was not the case in the least. It ended up being Auntie Didi with her three kids taking over the basement so we ended up eating dinner with everyone else and then going to bed. I even had to share my fabulous cake that Justin made me. I didn't even care about the calories I had consumed.

I decided hey maybe I should do a challenge with myself. Well, that's just what I'm going to do. I plan on doing the 30 day shred from Jillian Michaels. The idea came to me when I had a dream about her last night. Ha, who dreams about Jillian Michaels on Valentine's Day. This girl right here does. Anyway, I decided I'll take my measurements, really watch what I eat and follow the dvd as instructed. That way I can report back to all my friends (no one reads this <3) and tell them if it actually worth the while. I'm going to post my measurements on here later tonight because I don't have the time right now. Gotta go to work. Here it goes...

Headache galore

AHHH I am so sick of having these damn headaches. It's like I can feel my heartbeat in my head.

Today I had a mid term and I had Justin study with me. Well, we used to study before I was pregnant and we were living at the apartment. Once again though, I feel as if I'm on the back burner. He wasn't even paying attention to me and I was so stressed out about this damn exam.

It's getting real hard to juggle this life. I mean I guess it's hard on both sides. I work and go to school and Justin stays at home with Malcolm. However, I feel like that's all he does. When you are the "stay at home parent" you're the one that cooks and cleans and everything, but I'm still doing the cleaning. As soon as I get home I'm feeding Malcolm and Justin is off doing God only knows. I am so tired and he just keeps acting like I can keep going and going. I'M NOT THE FREAKING ENERGIZER PEOPLE!! I guess I just need a day off, a day off from everything though. However, don't get me wrong it's not that I don't want to hang out with Malcolm and take care of him and all that jazz... but when there is two of us.. THERE IS TWO OF US! It should be a joint effort at all times, not just when the other one is gone.

All this stress is really affecting me.. headaches, I can't lose weight for anything, I can't sleep. Oh boy, well gotta get going to bed dunno how much sleep I am actually going to get tomorrow

I'm jocking someone's style

So, I have been on this weightloss journey... Oh I don't know my whole life. Well, I came across someone's blog about their weight loss journey and it inspired me to work through things on paper... or at least on screen. Justin is already making fun of my for making this thingy.